by John Carroll
(Second of a two-part series)

We focused earlier on the high price of paying attention in a society abounding with distractions and entities competing for our attention. In that piece, we looked at ways to set time and energy aside to pay attention to the most important things, as well as removing some of the obstacles we tend to put in our own way.

Now let's look at what it costs us when we're not paying attention, both to ourselves and others.

First, consider the costs associated with not paying attention to ourselves, our health and our general well-being. There seems to be some sort of twisted, heroic value put forth in the current work-crazed world that justifies pounding ourselves into a sleep-deprived, hectic, no-end-in-sight rut. There's no logical way to rationalize this into a long-term solution for one's achievement or one's health and longevity.

Stephen Covey, in his best selling book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, cites the example of the fabled goose that lays the golden eggs. He considers the goose the production capability and the golden eggs the production. He says for long-term success, we need to have a good balance between the two. Of course, in the fable, the goose's owner wants all the golden eggs immediately, so he cuts open the goose only to find no eggs inside, thereby destroying both his production and production capability.

By not paying attention to ourselves and our own well-being, we're cutting our own goose, so to speak, and limiting, if not killing, our ability to reap the harvest of our work over the long haul. There's little if any heroism in whittling our own productivity beyond recognition simply to proclaim that we've been at it steadily for a long time and will remain in that mode until conditions and results improve. The "catch 22" here is that we're unlikely to affect any great results with energy and attention levels at ebb tide. Worse yet, we're often unable to appreciate and celebrate positive results when we're tired to the bone, thereby denying ourselves even an ounce of satisfaction with what we may have accomplished.

Next, and perhaps most devastating to us is that this lack of paying attention to ourselves, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually, has the negative impact of our diminished ability to pay attention to others. This constitutes a major cause of relationships going sour, when one or both parties can no longer muster the necessary amount of energy to focus on the needs and wants of the other. Such broken relationships are chalked up to some excuse such as, "I just couldn't understand her/him, no matter how hard I tried."

The high cost of not paying attention to others, by some estimates, runs into the trillions of dollars. In business for example, companies not listening to their associates and their customers can lose and are losing a great deal. One unnamed furniture company, cited in a recent e-newsletter at www.highgain.com, lost hundreds of thousands of dollars in damaged shipments simply by not heeding the warnings and complaints of those involved in shipping and receiving the shipments. This is just a single situation with a single company. Multiply that by the number of businesses that haven't learned to listen thoroughly and respond effectively to concerns of those they serve and you begin to see the whopping impact this issue has on the marketplace and on our society.

There are also those who, as visitors to the United States, observe that Americans generally are poorer listeners than those abroad. That's not to say that this problem rests only in the U.S.; it is however, such a widespread challenge that 35 percent of business studies cite listening as one of the top skills needed for business success (www.highgain.com).

Want to improve your own ability and habits when it comes to paying attention? You can start by checking your own listening skills by completing a listening self-assessment at http://www.highgain.com/SELF/index.php3. Another resource is the International Listening Association (www.listen.org). You can also check with the people who know you well and whose opinion you trust. Ask them if they see you as a great, good, fair or poor listener. Also ask them if they see you taking good care of yourself physically and otherwise.

Take the results of these surveys forward and create a new, positive habit or two for yourself. You'll find that by paying more attention to the things that truly matter to you in business and in life, you'll lead by example in helping yourself and others live a fuller, more satisfying life.

John Carroll is President/CEO of Unlimited Performance, a Mt. Pleasant, SC, firm focused on organizational and individual performance improvement. Brian Tracy International, a worldwide network of consultants, has recognized him for sales excellence. Contact him at 1-877-755-8844 toll-free, email at jcarroll@uperform.com, and fax at (843) 881-6746.

© 2000 John Carroll. All rights reserved.